My daughter Reese and I used to watch a show called, “So You Think You Can Dance.” Think American Idol, but just for dancing. And this one particular season, at the end of nearly every single performance, there was this one judge who started off her feedback with, “Oh my goodness, you’re just so naturally talented,” and I would cringe. Reese would just watch me because she knew exactly what was going on.
When we hear this expression, “Oh, you’ve got such natural talent, you’re so naturally gifted,” it assumes that you’re there only because of some sort of gift that you’ve received. So when I would hear a judge say this I’m like, you’re missing all of the hours and years of hard work that this performer has put into this particular performance, to get them there. By saying, “Oh, you have such great natural talent,” to me, was discounting everything else that they’ve done.
The other thing that it does, and not to this judge’s fault, but it sets a tone – it creates an assumption that unfortunately so many people out there then believe the only way to get to the top is, ‘I’ve had to be born with it.’ And I see this not only when we’re talking about art and dance, I see it in almost every single thing in the corporate world. Whenever I’m training on emotional intelligence, I hear it, “Colleen, I’m just not naturally self-aware, I don’t have great self-management. I can’t really read people, I wasn’t born with that.”
I hear it when it comes to communication, and I absolutely hear it when it comes to executive presence, or what I like to call ‘your X factor.’ “Colleen, I’m not born with all of these things that are going to allow me to have this great executive presence. I see leader so-and-so over here at my company, and they’ve got some great natural ability. It’s like they rolled out a bed and they’ve nailed the executive presence. I can never be like them.”
And look, while having some natural talent at something gives us a little bit of a head start, but doesn’t mean it’s going to win the race for those people. In fact, those people who have natural talent and only rely on the natural talent and don’t invest into sharpening those skills, they will be left behind. They only get a headstart at the beginning.
The people who really, really rise the ranks into leadership or whatever it is you want to do by exhibiting this executive presence, you may have a slight delay in the start if you don’t have the natural ability, but it is a skill that you can learn and continue to improve on.
So today, I encourage you that whether it’s about your x factor, executive presence, or anything else that you’re trying to do, where you are catching yourself saying, “Oh, I don’t have that natural talent. I wasn’t born with those skills, I’m never going to be there,” I’m going to really encourage you – in fact, I’m going to challenge you – to put a little block on that, a little wall and say, no, that just means I didn’t get the headstart. But what am I going to do now to go learn that skill?
What am I going to do to outpace somebody who is over here with that natural talent and isn’t continuing to sharpen those skills? That’s what I want for you. You do not use this as an excuse. I never want to hear anybody that I’m working with use this as an excuse. You have an opportunity in front of you to go engage, learn, and develop those skills. Again, executive presence is not just about your natural ability and what you’re born with. You can learn this today.