I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word “charisma” spoken to me or showing up in my life as much as it has recently. I’ve talked about how a lot of people think that in order to be a really strong communicator, you need to be super charismatic – and then here it is showing up again, where individuals believe they have to be super charismatic in order to have strong executive presence.
When I think about charisma, I translate it as a personality trait. And personality traits are not necessarily the indicators for great communicators or great executive presence. There is absolutely a framework and a model and a container of best practices for each of those that are more about your soft skills and less about your personality. Skills such as emotional intelligence or your ability to maintain eye contact with people – that is not personality driven.
Those things don’t have anything to do with whether or not you’re introverted, extroverted, have a lot of charisma, or you’re more reserved. So as you start to think about how do you show up to gain the respect, gain the following, get people to say yes to whatever it is you’re asking them to do through your communication, your executive presence overall as a leader, I am encouraging you and sharing with you that you want to look at the skills separate from personality.
The skills separate from personality.
We know that there are these containers of soft skills that are needed for you to have amazing executive presence. I say, “We’re going to unlock that X factor in you,” but now once we’ve got those skills and you’re working on those skills, it doesn’t mean you’ve perfected them – those are skills you’ve got to work on over and over, and you continue to get better and better over your journey.
But once you identify, hey, these are the skills that I need to continue to sharpen and get better at, then we want to overlay that with your unique personality. I love getting to meet so many people who have these wonderful presentation skills, or I can see they’re a great leader, but they’re all slightly different – and it’s because their personality is so unique, and they’ve learned to lean into that personality.
I’ve been teaching a group exercise class at the gym for nearly 20 years now, and I have a fellow coach, another instructor, and she and I are both very strong in our skills of what we need to do to be a great coach or instructor within group exercise. But then overlaid on top of that, she and I are so different in our personality, and it’s what brings a little bit of that uniqueness into not only our class and how we deliver it, but for the experience for the members.
And so it’s no different than how you’re showing up within your organization or your role, whether you’re a formal leader or not. So ditch this thought of, “I’ve got to be super charismatic,” because I will tell you that some of the top leaders that I have interacted with in my past, and still interact with today, I would never categorize them as having a lot of charisma.
In fact, they would themselves say they are not extroverts. They are more reserved, they are very good listeners, and they are very thoughtful. So again, it’s a myth that you’ve got to be really charismatic or an extrovert to showcase your executive presence. Let’s get rid of that. Let’s again, think about here, this is what I need to do for my skills, and then over here is a personality trait. And how do I get really good at my skills, and then take some super cool things about my personality and overlay that into create that special, unique blend of you for your executive presence?