My husband, Matt, and I have been together for 25 years. We’ve been married for over 20 of those, and so it would be ridiculous to think that we’ve never had any sort of conflict. Of course! In over two decades together, we have had our fair share of conflict.
But what a lot of people think when they get into those conflict situations is they assume that it’s because the communication failed. It’s, “Oh, we are not good communicators.” I am here to tell you that is absolutely not true. In fact, one of the greatest skills that Matt and I bring to the table individually and together as a partnership is our ability to communicate.
Our close friends and family will tell you that that is absolutely what has kept our relationship so strong. So this myth that if you are having conflict, it means communication is failing, is not the case. Now, it could help lead to the initial conflict, but here’s where the amazing golden piece comes in – that when you hit conflict, if you stay in communication, the conflict will actually make you stronger.
It’ll create a better relationship.
And I’m not just talking about personally, in marriages or couples, I’m talking about business. Again, not too long ago, a client that I work with, we have all been working together for over seven years, we were on-site together, and sure enough, we had conflict happening.
It wasn’t because we were being poor communicators; the conflict happened because of some external circumstances. But because we leaned into the communication, it actually strengthened our professional relationship, and it strengthened our next path moving forward. It also strengthened the communication itself.
In fact, after that situation happened, I sent a message to my client, and my client sent a message back to me. It was like we were so grateful that we went through this conflict, and again, it made our communication that much better. It showed us ways that we can become even more impactful in the future.
So if you’re hitting conflict, it’s not because communication has necessarily failed. Lean into the communication to help you overcome that conflict, and see how communicating through the conflict will actually create better relationships because of the conflict. It’s so cyclical.
I encourage you to observe past experiences, where that could have been made better, or maybe you’ve seen it yourself, and then think about how to do that in the future as the next conflict arises!