When in doubt, communicate.
Yes, this is it! But what happens is people then start to swing over here, where they think more communication is always better. And that is not the point. It’s not necessarily about more communication always being better. I do believe, as the communication expert, that communication is the key to solving nearly every single situation, and creating better relationships personally and professionally.
It really is – but more communication is NOT always better. That is not the case. And I see this happen even in my own profession. When I’m doing coaching, people don’t just come onto a coaching session and ask a question. Yes, they might get to a question, but they’re often explaining to me a situation, an experience, a circumstance, and then they get to their question. But what I see happen is that some of my clients come onto these calls and they want to over-communicate.
They want to give me every single piece of background, like they want to share the past 15 years of something that’s leading up to this. And we’re not talking about a summary of the 15 years, we’re talking a play by play of everything. And then they get to their question. Well, I actually can’t coach them quite as well as if, in comparison to other clients that I work with who come to me with, again, they don’t get to the question right away, they are sharing their experience, their situation, but it’s much more succinct. It’s much more clearly articulated, that allows me to coach them even better.
And there are reasons why. Think about this – have you ever been sitting there where somebody goes on and on and on, what starts to happen for you? Do you start to zone out? Do you start to link it to other things? Like you might even just completely miss what’s happening, versus people who are really good storytellers, they get to the main parts. You’re engaged, you’re like, oh, I get this. I get that.
The other key piece that happens, especially for me when I’m coaching and for you when you’re in these situations, is if somebody comes to you with a succinct package, they’re telling you just the key pieces, and then they ask the question. If you don’t know how to respond, you’re not quite sure where to go, there’s space for you to then ask questions. There’s space for you to gain more information, the right information that you need in order to help them.
So it is absolutely a myth to think more communication is better. No, it’s not. When you go to deliver your next presentation, and again, I see this, I work with scientists who have to deliver very complex information in their presentations, and they want to have more data, more graphs, more communication, more, more, more. But then they’re actually leaving the audience confused, they’re missing what it is you’re trying to convey.
Instead, if you know exactly what you’re trying to convey and you can get as succinct as possible and get to those key points, more people are likely to understand what it is you’re sharing. And if they don’t, now you have time.
Now you have space for them to ask questions. And isn’t it when we get engaged in a dialogue of sharing information, asking questions, sharing information, asking questions, doesn’t that promote more understanding, more connectivity, more interaction? That is really what communication is about. Communication is about that human connection. And if we become these over-communicators of dumping too much information, we are missing the entire point, and you’re actually not getting to where you want to go.
So next time you’re about to deliver some sort of communication, whether that’s an email, a phone conversation, a presentation, ask yourself, am I over-communicating? Is there too much here? Am I going to cause confusion? Am I not leaving enough time and space for people to ask questions and create that connection?
By doing so, by allowing that, you are going to get your message across so much better and create those better relationships, and imagine how that can impact your future, what that could look like for you on the other end. Reflect on those past situations where maybe you haven’t done that. How could it have changed, just by simply reducing the amount of communication?