One of the big communication problems I see isn’t even happening when you’re speaking, it’s before that. It comes around assumptions. So imagine that you’ve received some sort of communication, somebody said something to you, you received an email from someone, and they didn’t provide the “why” behind it, the data behind it. And so you now are making an assumption.
Now, look, beneath the surface, this is biologically correct for you. As a human being, we all have the need to connect the dots.
When we receive information, we need to connect. Why is this happening? And if it hasn’t been provided to you, you start swirling in your own head, creating your own story as to why. This creates an assumption. Now, this is really helpful when we’re in dangerous situations, but most often this mistake happens not when you’re dealing with strangers, but your everyday personal and professional life.
When you’re interacting with your peers, your boss, your direct reports, you have a tendency that if you haven’t received the why, you start to make an assumption. Now look, we know this will create problems – because your assumption is now going to dictate not only what you might say next, but it’ll create problems again before you even go to speak.
Because now, chemically, physiologically, you are changing. We have a tendency to assume the worst. And if we are making assumptions that are the worst, imagine how that changes your body language, your facial expressions, your tone of voice. So we want to be careful that we’re not creating problems, we’re not compounding problems by making these assumptions.
Today, I invite you to start to make a shift toward awareness. Awareness of, what assumptions are you making? When are you making them? Is it typically with someone specific, is it typically around a particular topic? Or is it truly just when somebody provides you with something without the data behind it? Start to shift, stop those assumptions before you move forward!