I have had my fair share of arguments, whether that’s of course with my husband Matt, or the kids, or even co-workers or past clients. And, now don’t tell Matt I told you this, but there are times I AM wrong – but there are absolutely times where I have been completely burned. I have had people in my past who have intentionally thrown their anger right at me, I’ve even had somebody deal out pure evilness for several months.
During those times, I so badly wanted to hold onto a grudge. I even want to deal out or reflect back at them that same anger, that same negativity, with the hope that they’re going to feel the same thing that I’m feeling. But by wanting that, by holding onto that, I’m actually feeling worse. I feel worse than just if I were receiving their negativity, their evilness, their pure meanness coming at me. So I learned that I can’t hold a grudge.
Your energy cannot be sitting in that negative place to seek revenge or to hold onto anger; whether it’s happening to you right now, or it’s based on events in the past.
Instead, you need to forgive. Yes, I said forgive! If you want to be able to move on, if you want to be able to heal, forgiveness is the way to do that. By forgiving others, you actually start to heal yourself so that you can release all of those things from the past and move forward into the future. Forgiveness is the key.
One of the ways that I was able to mentally deal with that concept, even amongst the people who’ve crossed into my life that have been the most evil people I’ve ever met, I realized that they’re doing the best they can with what they know. They may have learned these negative ways from their childhood, from a situation that happened in their young adulthood, or they’re dealing with something so negative and so abusive, whether that’s mentally or physically in their current life, that this is how they know to deal with it themselves.
And even though it may have to do with me, I move on and tell myself it doesn’t; that they are doing the best they can with what they know. And I forgive them.
I know this may feel so hard, especially if you are a person who really wants to hold on to things. I am imploring you today to try to see something from a forgiveness standpoint, to heal yourself. You are not going to change the other person, you are not going to heal them.
This is about you; you are much more important than the person who has brought negativity, pain, whatever that traumatic experience is – you are more important. I want you to heal yourself, and one of the best ways to do that is through the act of forgiveness.